Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the neighborhood.
(Maya Angelou)

Count your age with friends but not with years.
(Anonymous)

Don't anthropomorphize computers they hate it.
(Anonymous)

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
(Anonymous)

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
(Anonymous)

Never practice two vices at once.
(Tallulah Bankhead)

Never moon a werewolf.
(Mike Binder)

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
(Niels Bohr)

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
(Erma Bombeck)

Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.
(Jacob Braude)